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My Own Tara

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14th April 2004

2:02pm: Surf Results while ripping CD's

You Are a Like Lips!

You are a deep and sensual lover - who loves to spend hours making out.

A kiss is still the sexiest thing in the world to you.

And although you may not know it yet...

Your gentle untapped sexuality will be explosive once it's unleashed.

And if the tiger is out already ...then keep up the good work!

What Body Part Are You Most Like?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva
Current Mood: productive

12th April 2004

9:02pm: Wine
heh .. not what you think is it?

I had my first real experience with RedHat 9.0 today. I had this bright idea to install Wine and use it to run a mIRC client. So I spent alot of the day downloading RPM's and installing them. Then I had to install Wine to a fake drive "C" directory to emulate Windows. Well it took a while to get everything configured perfectly, but I did it!! Install, compile, run :-)

My first ever compile and it worked lol Yayyyy me!!!

People who are wasting their time on Windows should take a few hours and investigate Linux. There is so much more to do and learn. It is really a great learning experience for me. I am very happy with my RedHat machine. :-)

I know I have a very long way to go to get this machine tweaked and to be able to learn things essential to its maintenance, but today was such a huge personal success, I am really looking forward to what the possibilities are.

BTW, there is really very little needed to add to RedHat 9.0 to make it a decent OS. Everything I need is at my fingertips, anything I could add is just icing in the learning curve.

I am having an even greater time because I have been reading the boards of more experienced Linux users and so many seem to be having problems with making things work. I took my time, read everything thoroughly and it worked. :-)

Sorry to you ppl who have trouble ... take my advice, read a little before you try installing things. It PAYS to do your homework. :-)
Current Mood: amused

11th April 2004

9:28pm: I guess I am a geek now
Thanks to CLG who picked up a few new pieces of hardware, my old machine, that was VERY dead, is now running RedHat Linux. With supervision, I put in a new power supply, a new 60 gig HD, and 256 RAM. Then we installed RedHat Linux .. omg configuring this thing is not as easy as the books make it sound. It gave me a headache trying to keep up with everything CLG did. I have to learn more Linux commands .... But thanks to Amazon I have a RedHat 9.0 Bible coming at a 63% savings over retail price :-)

But the coolest thing .... this machine is NOT a slave to Microsoft :-)

Yayyyyy me!!!

I have had a growing hatred for MS products that do not do what they are supposed to do and all the crashing ... grrrrrrrrrrrrrr .... so I did some research and decided I wanted RedHat. Instead of taking the plunge and just doing it, we fixed this machine so now I am running my newest old machine with RedHat and my oldest new machine with Windows 98 until I am confortable in using this one for all my internet junkie needs.

RedHat is cool. Read up. Try it for yourself... Go ahead ... It's FREE!! :-)

Later ... :-)
Current Mood: RedHatted :-)

17th March 2004

8:10pm: new website
I found a great deal on web hosting and decided to start a new websit that is a collection of all my little websites spread across the net.

Nothing there yet but the index page, but here is the link -

Big Red Couch

surf's up in a couple days lol

25th February 2004

4:21am: Yankee or Dixie?
Check on your dialect and see if you might have crossed over to the "other side"! Simply click on the correct answer. As you go, the quiz will automatically interpret each answer to show you what your answer implies about you. When you are done, press Compute My Score. Your score will be calculated as a percentage: 0% is pure Yankee and 100% is pure Dixie.


76% (Dixie). That is a pretty strong Southern score!
Current Mood: restless

11th February 2004

1:23am: Before and After #1
I am in the middle of doing a second room now.

This is the before, during and after of changing the first room of the house from a bachelor dad's pad to a home for a family of 5. We still have the decorating to do but you can see the changes.




Current Mood: Painting Fever

20th January 2004

2:19pm: Home Sweet Home
We are tired - worn out - exhausted.

We have spent the past week closing up our house and getting ready for the move northward to Va. I swear I don't ever want to move again. Where does all this crap come from that is hiding in closets and drawers? We got so tired we just threw stuff away. We used the 6 month rule, if we haven't used it in 6 months we probably do not need it. We don't need it, we got rid of it! We intended to leave Friday morning, just wasn't happening, we were so tired and getting slower in our efforts so we decided to wait till Saturday morning. We did not leave at 4 am like we planned, we slept a bit too late. After all the tears and goodbyes with my momma we managed to hit the road at 10:30 am Saturday morning.

The drive uneventful and didn't seem as long as driving at night can seem. It was odd to see places in the daytime we had only seen at night. We were ahead of schedule and doing really well until we hit Richmond. The traffic from Richmond for the entire 80 odd miles to here was heavy and with the weather changing for the worst it really slowed us down. We gradually ran into heavier and heavier percipitation in the form of sleet and rain. The roads were freezing over and with the amount of traffic I just knew some freak who can't drive would end up plowing into us. Thank heaven we arrived safe and without incident.

As we pulled up the road leading to the house we could see into the front window and there was a big "Welcome Home" sign to greet us. Colby saw it first and her smile was huge. I think she was near to tears. Gracie was asleep since Richmond and we had to give it good effort to wake her up to see the accumulation of ice and snow as drove into the subdivision. All she wanted to do was get out of the Explorer and get inside. The sleet was becoming heavier and I swear the weather is like none I know. It is cold, just like back home, but it is a different cold. the whipping wind just bites straight thru all layers of clothing.

Sunday and Monday we girls hung out in our pj's and lounged around. Eating and watching TV is aout the most strenuous thing we did. i am still very tired and I know Colby is too.

This morning we went to enroll Gracie in to the new school and what a surprise was instore for us.

1. They would not accept the documents in her transcript.

2. They need a BC abd SS card that is original. the notary copies will not do.

3. Proof of our residence. (Steve has had to write a brief letter stating we live in his home and are getting married soon. Like how in the hell am I supposed to have mail and bills in my name here if we just arrived over the weekend?)

4. You cannot start school on the same day you enroll.

5. Nothing here is ever done quickly.

6. Kindergarden is not an all day long thing. gracie will attend afternoon class and will only school from 12:30 pm till 3:30 pm daily. How odd when we are used to her being in school all day.

7. The school supply list, no book bags with wheels. Oh well, Gracie just got a new Disney bag for her birthday at Christmas and I am not buying a new one.

One big things here .. I have misplaced her BC with the state seal on it. i had it, but I can't find it. WTF? I was just looking at it the other day as we packed and i must have put it in a wrong envelope. So, to make a long story short ... i called the vital records department back home and managed to get them to send me on Fed Ex tomorrow morning. the cost is $43. WTF? That would be my luck, lose the paper that costs the most to get a copy of. In the end all is well.

I am still tired. We have unloaded about half the things in the truck but we have to do somethings in the house before we really can unload all of it. No big deal. it can sit out there for a couple more days. I am just too tired yet to deal with it.

This morning after Steve got off to work, I cooked homemade bread to go with this huge pot of homemade vegetable soup I made. The house is warm and smells great. The windows are a bit foggy and everything is neat, tidy and feels so cozy.

Now all we are going to do is wait for Steve to come back home. :-)

later 'taters ...
Current Mood: lethargic

3rd January 2004

10:09pm: What I Got for Christmas by TequilaRose
A framed Elvis gold record "Love Me Tender" collectors edition

A Chandler writing box

A LoveBag that says "I love you" when you squeeze it

A "Mom" magnet for the refrigerator

A platter/bowl with my favorite chickens on it for the kitchen

A black velvet painting kit

A bonsai potato kit

Various and sundry little things

new tires for my Explorer

16 days in Virginia

What did Santa bring you?
Current Mood: in limbo
9:29pm: 12 Days of Christmas - CLG Style
On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me ... (EVERYBODY SING NOW...)

12 pouncing spiders
11 squirts of Raid
10 moths a-flapping
9 pink walls painted
8 pounds of dog hair
7 trips to the grocery store
6 Christmas Trees
5 Elvis CD's
4 new tires
3 prescribed drugs
2 pink eyes
1 lice scare

And how was your holiday?
Current Mood: undecided

26th December 2003

10:03pm: National Lampoons Has Nothing On Us
It has been a while since I posted. Real life seems to have taken over and we are in the land of "living in reality at the expense of living in cyber space". Life is good. I couldn't ask for better or more. So... this is what we have been up to ...

Thanksgiving Vacation

We spent the holiday in Virginia. It is a long haul to DC from Georgia. 9 - 10 hours of straight driving with one stop in North Carolina for gas. If my Explorer got better gas mileage it is possible I wouldn't have to stop ;-). It is a hard ride. Your butt and feet get tired of sitting in one place and it gets to be rather antsy with lots of shifting and moving, stretching the legs, arching the back etc. but the end result is worth the effort.

The Saturday after Thanksgiving we went out for our Christmas tree. We decided on a live tree but not just any tree. We went to a Christmas tree farm with children in tow and cut down our own specially selected just for us tree. It actually looked smaller in the great outdoors than it did once we got it in the house. Steve ended up taking about an inch or two out of the top and once the branches began to relax it fully fills the double front windows of the townhouse.

We arrived at Clifton Christmas Tree farm at mid afternoon. First was a trip to an exclusive local 4-star Micky D's on the good side of town for the kids. (I should add here this is the very first time I had been taken out to eat by Steve. It was truly a memorable moment in my life.)It was SO very cold. The wind was whipping like it was coming off ice. The lot was full of muck and mud. We walked into the edge of the balding forest and wouldn't you know it the best tree for us was at the end of the field of trees.

The children stood in a huddle that rivaled the best of the NFL. Their eyes were bright and shining. Their noses and cheeks where cherry red. They were freezing as they inhaled but each and every face had a huge smile. All of the girls were happy and excited and brimming with the joy that only children know at the wonder of Christmas and all of its magic.

Steve was the man of the hour. Like all great lumberjacks of their time he felled our tree in minimal time. Single handedly he hauled that giant specimen of outdoor beauty out of the forest of trees and back to the shack. At this point we found out they did not accept bank cards. DOH!! Steve didn't have cash. Woman to the rescue! Once the tree had been netted it was back to the truck. We girls made sure we hurried in out of the wind and with the engine started we soon had warm air circling our frozen hands, faces and feet. Meanwhile "Our Lumberjack" was out braving the weather strapping our felled centerpiece of the holidays onto the top of the truck. In awesome boyscout fashion he tied those knots and the tree made the trip back to the house.

Once back at the house of the pre-hundred acre wood, our Christopher Robin set the tree in its stand and removed the netting. A few minor adjustments and the tree resevior was filled with fresh water for our perfect tree and we were ready to begin decorating.

In the process of putting on the lights, Colby noticed something on the tree. Then she noticed something jumping in the tree. On inspection our wonderfully Christmasy smelling tree was filled with jumping spiders. The room was cleared of all living breathing beings and Steve proceeded to empty a couple cans of insecticide. The spiders are gone and so is the scent of the tree. Oh, well, it's better to have a spider free tree than to have the scent of pine.

After nearly 1000 tiny white lights it was decided by me that we needed a few more. So, out into the night we went and collected 300 more. I still think it is not enough but oh well what's a girl to do when the man thinks that is plenty and probably too many before the venture out into the cold of night to retreive more.

Ahhhhh!! The beauty of white lights.

Ok, sidenote here. I cannot let this subject pass without comment!!!! ... Why in the world do people think those aweful colored lights are so great? I hate those things with a passion. To me they are the most tacky things in the world. If you want multicolored (omg or monochromatic colored decorations) why can't you save those colors for cookies and cakes and candy? Why why why do people think splashing those things all over their trees and draping them all over the outside of their houses is wonderful? Do they have no tastes? What happened to the elegance and beauty of Christmas? I am almost in DC and with the multitudes of colored lights I feel like I am in "Bubba's Roadside Trailor Park and Festival of Trashy Lights". Whew ... got that off of my chest.

Ok, where was I? Oh yes!! The house is beautiful. Colby made gorgeous boughs and swags of greenery, decorated with the perfect amount of festive ornaments. These hang along the porch and sidewalk railings and look so very warm and inviting and respectable. We solved the delima of the 3 foot wreath. steve hung it buy rigging some string and hanging it from the upstairs windows. We are almost a Norman Rockwell painting.

The girls decorated the tree with my collection from the last 20 years. Excitement was rampant. The joy on the faces of the girls was priceless. At the moment of topping the tree. Steve was balanced on the arms of a nearby chair and one hand on the ceiling, let me quote Colby ... "All we need is you and the tree sailing out the window and onto the front windshield of momma's truck."

The decorations in place, the lights twinkling, children fed and smiling, the day ended with a warmth born of the magic of Christmas, the excitement of children and the feeling of love in the air.

I won't go into the details of leaving, let just say, we did not stay gone long. About 18 exits down the interstate we turned around and came back. We stayed 2 extra days. The 17 days between then and when we returned felt like a lifetime. It was the most miserable 17 days of my life, not to mention the girls. They both cried nearly every mile of the way back to Georgia ... all 596 miles.

Now we are back and we have picked up where we left off. It is almost in the fashion of the keystone cops. If it can happen it probably will happen.

Let's see ...

The first Sunday morning back Steve woke with crusty gunky eyes and I told him it was pink eye. He then called his mom (who works for the eye doc) and she suggested he had conjuctivitis. With a few phone calls (OMG doctors here work office hours on Sunday) he had a walk-in appointment. His diagnosis was indeed pink eye.

Now, I have to tell you, Steve has a real problem with eyeballs and having to put things in them from his days in college studying bio-technical engineering. It seems his job was to visit the local slaughter house in Rochester, NY and collect the eyeballs from the fresh kills. With a spoon he scooped them out of the skulls and filled buckets and then transported them in his car back to the college for the students.

Every 2 hours for 2 days and every 4 hours till completed he is squirting drops in his eyes and at bedtime he has to fill his eyes with gunk that looks like vaseline. Hed whines and moans and groans with each treatment. He is such a baby when he is sick but tries to remain manly I know for Colby's sake (LMFAO).

Colby has decided that he is so ragged he is precious and nothing he does is wrong. He is the perfect man. The teenager who can find something wrong with everything has deemed she can find nothing wrong with Steve.

I should remark here. The first visit here the house seemed to have a moth problem which is a result of a 3-star General who lives next door to his parents having given him some military coats which transfered the Generals moth problem to this house. he spent a week trying to rid the house of those creatures and ended up just throwing away the General's used coats.

The DC area is now under an alert for meats sold at Safeway. It seems there was some meat here that possibly came from that tainted cow all the way out on the west coast that came up with mad cow disease. I am so happy to say that the meats we have, ham, turkey and pork roast were all imported from the great state of Georgia. We have avoided famine so i guess the 4 hoursemen of the Apocolyps have not been released onto the world.

So, now we are up to the day after Christmas. What next? Moths, spiders, and ... take a big pause here ... we are now on code orange alert for a possible head lice infestation. Everything in this house has been vacuumed and cleaned from top to bottom. Linens and things have been washed in liquid lysol. Here I am standing downstairs putting laundry into the washer, Steve is vacuuming the sofa and I walk in to see how he is progressing. OMG I walked into a green fog of funk. This mild mannered man, who is so polite and caring and giving and loving had filled the room with deadly truth gas. I was quick to find the stairs in the blinding haze and made my way back to the main level. Colby says, "What's wrong?" and I was about to die, "Steve farted." For a moment I thought I had walked into the Night of the Living Dead. Colby has now dubbed him the resident "Fart Master", King of Flatulence. The only thing I can say is it is not a wise woman who feeds a man baked beans and beer for supper.

Now, back to the story ... Steve even treated the poor dog. I have no idea what all he put on that poor dog but I do know she got a tea tree oil beauty treatment from CVS drugstore and now she looks as if she has a remnants of a bad gerry curl in her fur. The poor dog is greasy. She leaves a sheen on your skin when you touch her. She is currently resting on me while I type this. Damn, lazy dog, she must think I am her new best friend.

I think I may have said enough.

More later ...
Current Mood: Hysterical Laughter

12th November 2003

10:32am: 7 reasons not to mess with a child
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

It doesnt matter how many people you send this to, just remember if it made you laugh, your friends will laugh too.
10:27am: Need a laugh
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder

1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with amale animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. (Do they look different reversed?)

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick??)
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Much worse than "going blind!")

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of....? ------did the govt. pay for this research??)

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time...Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world, that even comes close to this?)

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!)

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)

In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. (Makes one shudder at the thought.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Who volunteers for this stuff?)

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises." (Is this a great country or what? Not as great as Guam!)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Ah, geez)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
(I know some people like that)

Starfish don't have brains.
(I know some people like that, too.)

And, the best for last.....Turtles can breathe through their butts. (Do you think they have bad breath?)

Where are the applications for Guam?
Current Mood: laughing

11th November 2003

4:22pm: For all the scientists out there
For all the scientists out there and for all the students who have a hard time convincing people regarding the truth of the Bible, here's something that shows God's awesome creation and that He is still in control.

Did you know that the space program is busy proving that what has been called 'myth' in the Bible is true?

Mr. Harold Hill, President of the Curtis Engine Company in Baltimore, Maryland and a consultant in the space program, relates the following development.

"I think one of the most amazing things that God has done for us today happened recently to out astronauts and space scientist at Green Belt, Maryland. They were checking out where the positions pf the sun, moon and plants would be 100 years and 1,000 years from now. We have to know this so we won't send up a satellite and have it bump into something later on in its orbits. We have to lay out the orbits in terms of the life of the satellite and where the plants will be so the whole will not bog down.

They ran the computer measurement back and forth over the centuries, and it came to a halt. The computer stopped and put up a red signal, which meant there was something wrong with either the information fed into it or with the results as compared to the standards.

They called in the service department to check it out and they said, 'What's wrong?' Well, they found there is a day missing in space in elapsed time. They scratched their heads and tore their hair. There was no answer."

Finally a Christian man on the team said, 'You know, one time I was in Sunday school, and they talked about the sun standing still.' While they didn't believe him, they didn't have an answer either, so they said, 'Show us.'

He got a Bible and went to the book of Joshua where they found a pretty ridiculous statement for any one with 'common sense.' There they found the Lord saying to Joshua, 'Fear them not, I have delivered them into thy hand; there shall not a man of them stand before thee.' "Joshua was concerned because he was surrounded by the enemy, and if darkness fell, they would overpower them. So Joshua asked the Lord to make the sun stand still!

That's right... 'The sun stood still and the moon stayed and lasted not to go down about a whole day! (Joshua 10:12-13)

The astronauts and scientists said, 'There is the missing day!'

They checked the computers going back into the time it was written and found it was closed but not close enough. The elapsed time that was missing back in Joshua's day was 23 hours... not a whole day. "They read the Bible and there it was 'about (approximately) a day.' These little words in the Bible are important, but they were still in trouble because if you cannot account for 40 minutes, you'll still be in trouble 1000 years from now. Forty minutes had to be found because it can be multiplied may times over in orbits.

As the Christian employee thought about it, he remembered somewhere in the Bible where it said the sun went BACKWARDS. The scientists told him he was out if his mind, but they got out the Book and read these words in 2 Kings that told of the following story:

'Hezekiah, on his deathbed, was visited by the prophet Isaiah who told him that he was not going to die. Hezekiah asked for a sign as proof.

Isaiah said, 'Do you want the sun to go ahead 10 degrees?' Hezekiah said, 'It is nothing for the sun to go ahead 10 degrees, but let the shadow return backward 10 degrees.' Isaiah spoke to the Lord and the Lord brought the sun ten degrees BACKWARD! "Ten degrees is exactly
40 minutes! Twenty-three hours and 20 minutes in Joshua, plus 40
minutes in 2 Kings make the missing day in the universe!" Isn't it amazing?

References: Joshua 10:8 and 12, 13 and 2 Kings 20:9-11.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember amateurs built the ark; Professionals built the Titanic.
Current Mood: Believing
4:06pm: Exonerate Lt. Col. Allen B. West from Criminal Prosecution
Sign a citizen petition on behalf of Lt. Col. Allen B. West,
U.S. Army, who was indicted last week on criminal assault charges
for the psychological intimidation tactic he used to acquire
vital intelligence from a captured enemy combatant in Iraq --
intelligence that saved the lives of American soldiers facing
imminent attack.

"[The enemy detainee] and his accomplices were a threat to our
soldiers and the method was not right, but why should I...be forced
into prison for protecting my men?," Col. West asks. Patriot
Petitions poses the same question: How can we expect our frontline
officers to fight wars the Bush administration calls "preemptive"
if they are not given the latitude to respond -- preemptively --
to the asymmetric threats of terrorist aggressors? Would the
deaths of American soldiers in the ambush Col. West thwarted at
Saba al Boor have constituted a more acceptable result for the
Army's judge advocate? Please sign the petition to exonerate
Col. West from this grossly misguided criminal prosecution.

(Please forward this invitation to friends, family members, and
fellow American Patriots. In order to force serious consideration
of this issue within the White House and Congress, we must first
collect as many petition signatures as possible.)

PatriotPetitions.US, the nation's leading public opinion advocate
for U.S. national security, sovereignty, and Constitutional
integrity, has released its newest campaign entreating the
President, Congress and Department of Defense to Exonerate
Lt. Col. Allen B. West from Criminal Prosecution. Please read
this brief description of the campaign and register your opinion
on this matter. Please let your voice be heard!

Please join fellow Patriots on the front lines in defense of our
liberty and national sovereignty.

Link to -- http://PatriotPetitions.US/colwest

(If you don't have Web access, please send a blank e-mail to:
Each e-mail sent to this address will be counted as one signature
for the petition.)

(Circulation of this petition is being sponsored by The Federalist,
the most widely read conservative e-journal on the Internet.
If you have not already joined the ranks of Patriots receiving
The Federalist, we encourage you to do so. This highly acclaimed
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If you don't have Web access, send a blank e-mail to
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Founder's Quote:

"I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength
from distress, and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business
of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose
conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto
death." --Thomas Paine

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does NOT release any identifiable information on our petitioners
to any third party under any circumstances, nor do we accept any
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To be removed from the Patriot Petitions mailing list,
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Current Mood: thoughtful
6:39am: A Day at Baltimore Airport
Dear Friends and Family,

I hope that you will spare me a few minutes of your time to tell you about something that I saw on Monday, October 27.

I had been attending a conference in Annapolis and was coming home on Sunday. As you may recall, Los Angeles International Airport was closed on Sunday, October 26, because of the fires that affected air traffic control. Accordingly, my flight, and many others, were cancelled and I wound up spending a night in Baltimore.

My story begins the next day. When I went to check in at the United counter Monday morning I saw a lot of soldiers home from Iraq. Most were very young and all had on their desert camouflage uniforms. This was as change from earlier, when they had to buy civilian clothes in Kuwait to fly home. It was a visible reminder that we are in a war. It probably was pretty close to what train terminals were like in World War II.

Many people were stopping the troops to talk to them, asking them questions in the Starbucks line or just saying "Welcome Home." In addition to all the flights that had been cancelled on Sunday, the weather was terrible in Baltimore and the flights were backed up. So, there were a lot of unhappy people in the terminal trying to get home, but nobody that I saw gave the soldiers a bad time.

By the afternoon, one plane to Denver had been delayed several hours. United personnel kept asking for volunteers to give up their seats and take another flight. They weren't getting many takers. Finally, a United spokeswoman got on the PA and said this, "Folks. As you can see, there are a lot of soldiers in the waiting area. They only have 14 days of leave and we're trying to get them where they need to go without spending any more time in an airport then they have to. We sold them all tickets, knowing we would oversell the flight. If we can, we want to get them all on this flight. We want all the soldiers to know that we respect what you're doing, we are here for you and we love you."

At that, the entire terminal of cranky, tired, travel-weary people, a cross-section of America, broke into sustained and heart-felt applause. The soldiers looked surprised and very modest. Most of them just looked at their boots. Many of us were wiping away tears.

And, yes, people lined up to take the later flight and all the soldiers went to Denver on that flight.

That little moment made me proud to be an American, and also told me why we will win this war.

If you want to send my little story on to your friends and family, feel free. This is not some urban legend. I was there, I was part of it, I saw it happen.

Will Ross Administrative Judge United States Department of Defense

Editorial note: I checked .. this is a true story :-)

Weary Travelers Support Operation Iraqi Freedom Troops at BWI
By Donna Miles
American Forces Press Service

WASHINGTON, Oct. 31, 2003 — Nearly everyone has experienced it at one time or another: an airport bogged down by bad weather, delayed and cancelled flights, and cranky, overtired travelers wanting nothing more than to get to their destinations.

That's exactly what Will Ross, an administrative judge for the Defense Department's Office of Hearings and Appeals in Los Angeles, encountered Oct. 27 at Baltimore/Washington International Airport.

But what he witnessed that day, he said, "made me proud to be an American, and also told me why we will win this war (on terrorism)."

Like many of his fellow passengers, Ross had been forced to spend the night in Baltimore. His outbound flight, scheduled for the night before, had been cancelled due to the California wildfires. They had forced the Los Angeles International Airport to close, and the ripple effect drove domestic travel nationwide into a tailspin.

When Ross reported to the United Airlines counter the following morning for the next scheduled flight to Los Angeles, bad weather and aircraft mechanical problems made the prospect of a timely trip even more grim.

As he waited in the terminal, Ross noticed many soldiers in their desert camouflage uniforms, newly arrived from Southwest Asia. All, like Ross and the other passengers at the airport, were awaiting connecting flights — but in the soldiers' case, it was to begin two weeks of rest and recuperation leave.

Flight delays continued and the airport had become, in Ross's words, "a zoo." By the afternoon, one flight to Denver had been delayed several hours. United Airlines agents kept asking for volunteers to give up their seats and take another flight, but Ross said they weren't getting many takers.

Finally, Ross said a United Airlines spokeswoman got on the public address system and made a desperate plea. "Folks, as you can see, there are a lot of soldiers in the waiting area," the agent said. "They only have 14 days of leave and we're trying to get them where they need to go without spending any more time in an airport than they have to.

"We sold them all tickets knowing we would oversell the flight. If we can, we want to get them all on this flight. We want all the soldiers to know … we respect what you're doing, we are here for you and we love you," the agent continued. "The entire terminal of cranky, tired, travel-weary people -- a cross-section of America -- broke into sustained and heartfelt applause," Ross said. "We're talking about several hundred people applauding, a whole terminal.

"The soldiers looked surprised and very modest," he continued. "Most of them just looked at their boots." Many of the travelers in the terminal wiped away tears.

"And, yes," Ross said, "people lined up to take the later flight and all the soldiers went to Denver on that flight."

Ross said he figured that 30 or 40 people had suddenly jumped at the chance to offer their seats to U.S. soldiers.

That moment, he said, reinforced his patriotism and his heartfelt belief that the United States will prevail in the war on terror.

"I think people realized that this fight is going to be long and drawn-out, and these kids are in the thick of it," he said. "It was heartwarming to see their outpouring of support."

Current Mood: Patriotic

4th November 2003

9:42am: 80's Music

Hmm... your answers.... lets see how they fit....

1. billie jean is not my lover, she's just a girl who says that I am the one.
Correct. You get one point.

2. hush, hush , keep it down now, voices carry.
Correct. This one's worth two.

3. shout , shout , let it all out.
Right on. Tears from the Big Chair... (1 point)

4. Oh, I wish that I had jessie's 's girl.
Oh no, how could you miss this one? Don't you want Jessie's girl? (For the record, Rick Springfield is the one who gender-bent the spelling.)

5. People are people , so why should it be
Bingo. 1 point.

6. We are living in a material world, and I am a material girl.
Yes. 1/2 a point. Way too easy!

7. I'll love you with all the joy of living until the lights go out in new yourk city .
Early Erasure... New York City.

8. video killed the radio star.
Been watching MTV I see... 2 points. Most people miss this one.

9. She blinded me with science .
Yes. What a stupid song. 1 point.

10. Gonna wrap you up in my love .
Shoop be doo... gonna dress you up in my love...

11. She told me to walk this way, she told me to walk this way.
Oh man.. Run DMC plus Aerosmith. She told me to walk this way.. she told me to talk this way

12. invisible man sleeping in your bed.
For three points... you remembered who ya gonna call.

13. It's just another manic monday .
Yes. 1/2 a point. Easy!

14. I'm never going to feel again the way I feel with you.
Sorry...no. He's never gonna dance again the way he danced with you b/c guilty feet have got no rythmn.

15. sweet dreams are made of this, who am I to disagree.
No one sounds good singing along to this song... 1 point.

16. We're gonna rock down to electric avenue .
You know.. this isn't the electric slide song. 1 point.

17. How long, how long must I sing this song .
Yep. Bono at his most self righteous. 2 points.

18. whip , whip it good.
I was going for Devo, but Salt N Pepa is also acceptable. 1/2 point for either push or whip.

19. He turned to me as if to say, " blank , blank it's waiting there for you."
Hurry boy. Everybody misses this. Look up the lyrics to Africa on the cheatsheet.

20.It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine .
Only one point. Totally overplayed REM.

21. Come on, pour some sugar on me, in the name of love .
What exactly IS sugar, anyway? 1 point.

22. dude looks like a lady.
yep. 1 point

23. Bow down before the one you serve , you're going to get what you deserve
Did Trent mean this to become an S and M theme song?... oh yeah.. 2 points.

24. red, red wine
1 measly point

25. Oh, yeah, we're blank there, oh, oh we're living on a prayer.
We're halfway there... living on a prayer

26. Make you wonder how the blank blank blank .
Makes you wonder how the other half die.. from Devil Inside? INXS?

27. time after time If you're lost and you look you will find me.
Correct. 1 points.

28. Don't turn arounf der kommisar's in town.
Don't turn around.

29. Our house in the middle of our street .
Yes. 1 point.

30. Wet bus stop , she's waiting, his car is warm and dry.
Sting.. the guy who sings about stalkers AND pedophiles (if you read the lyrics). (2 pts.)

31. She told me to come but I was already there.
And you shook... 1 point out of this question.(I know it's cheesy, but it's hard to come up with 204 smart-assed remarks.)

32. Who do you want me to be to make you sleep with me?
You get 2 points for knowing Obsession.

33. I got my first real six - string , Bought it at the five-and-dime.
It was the summer of 69.. I wasn't even born yet, were you? 3 points

34. But if you see me walk by , and the tears are in my eyes.
If you see Chicago walking by, look away.

35. Like no other, before you know it, you'll be on your knees .
She's an easy lover. What happened to the Phil Collins of my youth? He sounds like Disney on Ice now... (2 pts.)

36. Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight It must've been some kind of kiss .
This one is TOO easy. 1/2 point.

37. Can't stop now, I've traveled so far, to change this blank blank .
lonely life...

38. I don't need to fall at your feet Just 'cause you cut me to the bone
what a wierd lyric.. you get 1 point.

39. Your moves are so raw I've got to let you know
he made leather pants sexy. 1 point.

40. She'll only come out at night , ooh Here she comes She's a maneater
1/2 a point. no annoying comments b/c it's 12:46 AM.

41. And the full moon that hangs over These blank in the blank
The Video That Used the Most Dry Ice Award goes to Heart for These Dreams. The lyrics is these dreams in the mist

42. Please, louise , Pull me offa my knees
Cut loose foot loose... 1 point

43. Come on baby, make it hurt so good Sometimes love don't feel like it should
I just don't see Mr. Cougar Melloncamp as a masochist.. (1pt)

44. I walk along the city streets You used to walk along with me, And every step I take reminds me Of just how we used to be.
This one's hard. 4 points.

45. If you leave , don't leave now. Please don't take my heart away
Yet another pathetic 80's ballad... which you knew for 1 point.

46. Lay a whisper on my pillow Leave the winter on the ground
wow. you are good. 5 points

47. Sometimes I feel I've got to run away, I've got to run away
One's run, the other's get.

48. I have blank I have blank I have scaled these city walls
Go get out your copy of the Joshua Tree. Listen to it.

49. little red Corvette Baby you're much 2 fast
i wanna know about those jockies that were there before his symbol-ness. (1 point)

50. We gotta install microwave ovens Custom kitchen deliveries
I know whose voice is singing 'I want my MTV'... do you? By the way, you got one point for this one.

51. rock me Amadeus
If anyone can tell me why we all bought this song, I'd love to hear it. Half a point for this one.

52. You were born in the city concrete under your feet
You must have had the Miami Vice soundtrack, too! 2 points

53. My blood runs cold My memory has just been sold
My angel is a centerfold...well, now she'd have a webcam.com ... 1 point

54. She's got a smile that it seems to me Reminds me of childhood memories
Whatever happened to Axl after that tragic spaghetti incident? Half a point

55. You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar
No one ever gets this... 4 points!

56. It's a nice day for a white wedding
I'm still trying to imagine Billy Idol at Any wedding. 2 points!

57. Woke up to reality And found the future not so bright
Wow. 4 pts

58. 'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance ; Well they're no friends of mine
There's no better dance, than a Safety Dance. 2

59. For just one moment To be bold and naked At your side
Ok, did you know the song, or did you just figure that if you were bold by someone's side, you oughta be naked? 1 pt, btw.

60. Your heart sweats, your body shakes Another kiss is what it takes
Shania Twain should be shot for ripping off his videos. Half a point, everyone knows this one.

61. Every rose has its thorn Just like every night has it's dawn
Poison, dude! 1 point for this one.

62. Sometimes you're better off dead There's a gun in your hand and it's pointing at your head
You think you're mad, you're too unstable. Kicking at chairs and knocking down tables, in restaraunt, in a west end town. Call the police, there's a madman around... okokok I'll stop... 1 pt

63. You spin me right round, baby right round like a record , baby
they'd have to make it 'CD' now. 2 points

64. Remember after the fire after all the rain I will be the flame
2 points, and I'm out of smartass comments. Take your points and go.

65. You got a fast car But is it fast enough so we can fly away
An actual artist! From the 80's! 1 point

66. All alone I have cried silent tears full of pride in a world made of steel , made of stone.
Exactly how many body doubles did Jennifer Beals have in this movie? 3 points

67. You're a real tough cookie with a long history Of breaking little hearts like the one in me
2 points. Hit me with your best shot...Fire away.

68. goddess on the mountain top Burning like a silver flame
Who the hell names ANYTHING a Bananarama? A half a point for recognizing the song. Another point for not thinking it was Venus

69. When I see you smile I can face the world, oh oh, you know I can do anything You get one point for this cheesy song. Aren't you proud?

70. Let me hear your body talk
So where Would you buy leg warmers today? This was a 3 pt question!

71. You could have a blank blank if you'd just lay down your tracks
The steam train mushes his head.

72. That the touch of your hand Makes my pulse react
What's with all the Tina Turner songs about prostitutes? Anyway, it's an obscure line, so 4 points

73. Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad, I'm hot for teacher
Obviously Van Halen never met Herr Clark. 1/2pt

74. My name is Luka I live on the blank floor
Pop music tries to care about the world. Luka lives on the 2nd floor...child abuse victim.

75. I'm high as a kite and I just might stop to check you out
I've never had a blister pop in the sun. Most people know to GO INSIDE once they turn.. oh lobster red. 1/2 point

76. Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
Man... reach for the AquaNet it's big hair band time! (1pt)

77. And there's a storm that's raging through my frozen heart tonight
if he ain't missing her at all.. why sing about it? Someone's in denial. 1 pt.

78. Think of the tender things That we were working on
Veal? Goose liver? Marinated chicken breasts? Hormel Always Tender Pork? (1 point)

79. Believe it or not I'm walking on air
Pop up videos tonight... they changed the Greatest American Hero's name from Mr. Hinkley to Mr. H after Jodi Foster's # 1 Fan tried to take out Reagan. (1 pt)

80. No need to ask. He's a smooth operator ,
Sade has an amazing voice. 1 pt.

81. And I know that I'm right Cuz I hear it in the night
My secrets are all revealed on my web site. No need to eavesdrop on my dreams. 1 pt.

82. I tell you one and one makes three
Synchronicity: History Proff. says the name Stalin and the head jock, the head nerd, and the head druggie all headbang out this lyric at once. Who needs drugs, when you have this reality? 1/2 pt.

83. Warm smell of blank Rising up through the air
Colitas. Spanish for little tails. Most likely? Pot.

84. Her name is rio and she dances on the sand
So, I'm thinking Rio is the child of some potted out rich hippies who traveled a lot. 1 pt

85. By order of the prophet We ban that boogie sound
What an odd lyric. 2 points, no one ever gets this. They all say Kommisar.

86. And the southern girls with the way they girls They knock me out when I'm down there
Southern girls with the way they talk....

87. Owner of a lonely heart Much better than - a Owner of a lonely heart
Lonely heart is better than the owner of a broken heart? The songwriter must not have belived tis better to have loved and lost than never loved at all...

88. Why do we scream at each other? This is what it sounds like when doves cry.
Prince lives in the city.. this should be when Pigeons cry. 1 pt.

89. I got me a chrysler it seats about 20
Glitter on the mattress... huh??? (1 pt.)

90. In the name of love
Yes. The Irish mourning one the American Civil Right movement's tragedys. 1 point.

91. In your eyes I am complete
1/2 pt. Easy to guess.

92. Everybody knows smoking aint allowed in school
This is b/c Marlboro doesn't run the school boards. 1/2 point.

93. All we want is life beyond the thunderdome
4 points for knowing this bit of 80's obscurity

94. Like a blank cutting for the very first time
Surgeon. Weird Al does Madonna.

95. I cannot live I cannot die
5 points b/c I wrote this and can't remember what the hell song it's from. (ed: 11/1/3: yes, 50 people emailed me and said)

96. blank just don't understand
Parents. 80's music boiled down: Parents vs. Love.

97. Don't push me I'm close to the edge
Did you guess or do you know Grand Master Flash and the Furious Five? 1 pt.

98. Your mom threw away your best blank
Porno Mag. Go mom.

99. I come from the land down under
He just smiled and gave me a Vegamite sandwich.. 1 point

100. women not girls rule my world
Yeah they rule my world... 2 pts

Bonus Question 1: Oomp-ba-pa-mou-mou My heart's on fire for elvira
Giddy Up! 2 points.

Bonus Question 2: I've got friends in low places.
Duh. 1/2 point.

Bonus Question 3: Yes, I'm only a bill , And I'm sitting here on capitol hill .
Wow! You remeber your School House Rock, too! Bonus: 2

Hi, Mom. Mom bonus of 20 points.
5 point bonus for telling me where you saw this. Thanks!

Final Score: 148.5

My score should be higher, I said jessie's on #4!!!!

Yes I was a teenager in the early 80's ...
Current Mood: I must be old

3rd November 2003

8:27am: Moral to a Story
And so goes the nature of all Humanity as well:

Once upon a time, on a farm in Arkansas, there was a
little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until
she uncovered quite a few grains of wheat.

She called all of her neighbors together and said, "If
we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who
will help me plant it?"

"Not I," said the cow.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Not I," said the pig.
"Not I," said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red
hen. And so she did ; The wheat grew very tall and
ripened into golden grain.

"Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.

"Not I," said the duck.
"Out of my classification," said the pig.
"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.
"I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red
hen, and so she did.

At last it came time to bake the bread. "Who will help
me bake the bread?" asked the little red hen.

"That would be overtime for me," said the cow.
"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.
"I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.
"If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination,"
said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red
hen. She baked five loaves and held them up for all of
her neighbors to see.

They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share. But
the little red hen said, "No, I shall eat all five loaves."

"Excess profits!" cried the cow.
"Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck.
"I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose.
The pig just grunted in disdain.

And they all painted "Unfair!" picket signs and
marched around and around the little red hen, shouting
& nbsp; obscenities.

Then a government agent came, he said to the little
red hen, "You must not be so greedy."

"But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.

"Exactly," said the agent. "That is what makes our
free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the
barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our
modern government regulations, the productive workers
must divide the fruits of their labor with those who
are lazy and idle."

And they all lived happily ever after, including the
little red hen, who smiled and clucked, "I am
grateful, for now I truly understand."

But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her.
She never again baked bread because she joined the
"party" and got her bread free.

And all the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been
established. Individual initiative had died but nobody
noticed; perhaps no one cared, as long as there was
free bread.
8:24am: Beer Troubleshooting
Beer Troubleshooting

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.

SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.
Current Mood: amused

2nd November 2003

4:35pm: Spider in my PC
It has been a while since I have actually written something personal here and I really don't know why. I am going to try and do better.

So I will tell you about my day ...

After I woke this morning to a very good morning .. I went about my business .. walked thru the living room toward the kitchen to make coffee and as I passed the PC I punched the on button and it dawned on me about 3 steps away that I did not hear it booting up, so I retraced my steps and hit the button again. Nothing. I went on to the kitchen for the coffee and came back. Wiggled the cables, unplugged, replugged, nothing. Hmmm, it was fine last night when I turned it off. The monitor came on but I moved it to another outlet and plugged it in. Nothing.

I opened the case as if by looking I could determine something and by magic make the power supply begin to function. I don't like opening these things. I just have no interest in tinkering around in them.

O - M - G !!!!!!!!!

Inside the case was nothing but spider web! and HUGE fat blackish brown spider!! I reached over and took a scissor and snipped the spider in half and I do mean a HUGE one! It was the size of a silver dollar!

With the spider now gone I began pulling out pieces of spider web (ughhh!) Then I decided I needed some Q-tips to reach those small places and went to get them. On the way into the bathroom I passed the phone on my nightstand and I decided to call CLG.

In the process of talking to him, I came back to the pc with the dead power supply. Then an idea struck me that I had 2 other pc's the same as this one and I went and got them and cracked them open too.

I followed CLG's step by step instructions on the phone and in about an hour I had taken my HD and put it in another PC with a good power supply and then added more memory and thought about adding another HD to it but then decided I had had enough and I would just wait and let CLG tinker with it all for me.

Ohhhhhh ... about half way thru pulling the thing open and apart .. another HUGE spider in there!! Eeekkkkkkkk!!! It wasn't that long ago when I was chatting an equally enormous spidr walked across my monitor. Acckkk!!!

I am feeling accomplished!

I have never wanted to do anything inside of the tower but I didn't want to pay someone else to do it either. So ... now ... I have a perfectly fine running machine with more memory!! AND I didn't have to wait for CLG to do it for me!!!

Yayyyyy for me! :-)

And thank you CLG for your excellent instructions!! :-)
Current Mood: accomplished
4:26pm: When God Made Woman
When God Made Woman

By the time the Lord made women, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An Angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?".

And the Lord answered and said, "Have you seen the spec sheet on her?

She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands."

The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. Six pairs of hands! No Way!", "And that's just on the standard model?" the Angel asked.

The Angel tried to stop the Lord. "This is too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."

But I can't!", the Lord protested, "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days.

The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, "but you have made her so soft, Lord."

"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made Her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?", asked the Angel. The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate."

The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman's cheek.

"Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak," the Lord objected, "that's a tear!" "What's the tear for?" the Angel asked.

The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride."

The Angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything, for women are truly amazing."

Women have strengths that amaze men. They carry hardships, they carry burdens but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up for injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a new marriage.

Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin! They bring joy and hope. They give compassion and ideals.

They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have a lot to say and a lot to give.

And now you know why men are so taken with women.
Current Mood: peaceful

1st November 2003


The nice men are ugly.

The handsome men are not nice.

The handsome and nice men are gay.

The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

The men who are not so Handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.

The handsome men without money are after our money.

The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.

The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are pigs.

The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God, are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!

The men who never make the first move, automatically lose Interest in us when we take the initiative.

Current Mood: trying to understand

19th October 2003

5:11pm: What color is your passion?
pink passion

Your Passion is Pink!

You're a bit innocent when it comes to sex.
Not that you're not experienced...
You've just prevented your heart from being corrupted.
You're passionate, in time, but it takes a while for your colors to deepen.

What Color Is Your Passion?
Current Mood: in the Pink

18th October 2003

12:12am: Statement made by Lori Kimbal, Alabama
Statement made by Lori Kimbal, Alabama.

It could have been any night of the week, as I sat in one of those loud and casual steak houses that are cropping up all over the country. You know the type- a bucket of peanuts on the table, shells littering the floor, and bunch of perky college kids racing around with longneck beers and sizzling platters.

Taking a sip of my iced tea, I studied the crowd over the rim of my glass. I let my gaze linger on a few of the tables next to me, where several uniformed military members were enjoying their meals.

Smiling sadly, I glanced across my booth to the empty seat where my husband usually sat. Had it had only been a few weeks since we had sat at this very table talking about his upcoming deployment to the Middle East?

He made me promise to; come back to this restaurant once a month, sit in our booth, and treat myself to a nice dinner. He told me that he would treasure the thought of me there eating a steak and thinking about him until he came home. I fingered the little flag pin I wear on my jacket and wondered where at that moment he was. Was he safe and warm? Was his cold any better? Were any of my letters getting to him? As I pondered all of these things, shrill feminine voices from the next booth broke into my thoughts.

"I don't know what Bush is thinking invading Iraq. Didn't he learn anything from his father's mistakes? He is an idiot anyway, I can't believe he is even in office. You know he stole the election."

I cut into my steak and tried not to listen as they began an endless tirade of running down our president. I thought about the last night I was with my husband as he prepared to deploy. He had just returned from getting his smallpox and anthrax shots and the image of him standing in our kitchen packing his gas mask still gave me chills.

Once again their voices invaded my thoughts.

"It is all about oil, you know. Our military will go in and rape and pillage and steal all the oil they can in the name of freedom. I wonder how many innocent lives our soldiers will take without a thought? It is just pure greed."

My chest tightened and I stared at my wedding ring. I could picture how handsome my husband was in his mess dress the day he slipped it on my finger. I wondered what he was wearing a t that moment. He probably had on his desert uniform, affectionately dubbed coffee stains, over the top of which he wore a heavy bulletproof vest.

"We should just leave Iraq alone. I don't think they are hiding any weapons. I think it is all a ploy to increase the president's popularity and pad the budget of our military at the expense of social security and education. We are just asking for another 9-11 and I can't say when it happens again that we didn't deserve it."

Their words brought to mind the war protesters I had watched gathering outside our base. Did no one appreciate the sacrifice of brave men and women who leave their homes and family to ensure our freedom? I glimpsed at the tables around me and saw the faces of some of those courageous men, looking sad as they listened to the ladies talk.

"Well, I for one, think it is a travesty to invade Iraq and I am certainly sick of our tax dollars going to train the professional baby killers we call a military."

Professional baby killers? As I thought about what a wonderful father my husband is and wondered how long it would be before he was able to see his children again, indignation rose up within me.

Normally reserved, pride in my husband gave me a boldness I had never known. Tonight, one voice would cry out on behalf of the military. One shy woman would stand and let her pride in our troops be known. I made my way to their table, placed my palms flat on it and lowered myself to be eye level with them.

Smiling I said, "I couldn't help overhearing your conversation. I am sitting over here trying to enjoy my dinner alone. Do you know why I am alone? Because my husband, whom I love dearly, is halfway across the world defending your right to say rotten things about him. You have the right to your opinion, and what you think is none of my business, but what you say in my hearing is and I will not sit by and listen to you run down my country, my president, my husband, and all these other fine men and women in here who put their lives on the line to give you the freedom to complain. Freedom is expensive, ladies, don't let your actions cheapen it."

I must have been louder than I meant to be, because about that time the manager came over and asked if everything was all right.

"Yes, thank you." I replied and then turned back to the ladies, "Enjoy the rest of your meal."

To my surprise, as I sat down to finish my steak, a round of applause broke out in the restaurant.

Not long after the ladies picked up their check and scurried away, the manager brought me a huge helping of apple cobbler and ice cream, compliments of the table to my left. He told me that the ladies had tried to pay for my dinner, but someone had beaten them to it.

When I asked who, he said the couple had already left, but that the man had mentioned he was a WWII vet and wanted to take care of the wife of one our boys.

I turned to thank the soldiers for the cobbler, but they wouldn't hear a word of it, retorting, "Thank you, you said what we wanted to say but weren't allowed."

As I drove home that night, for the first time in while, I didn't feel quite so alone. My heart was filled with the warmth of all the patrons who had stopped by my table to tell me they too were proud of my husband and that he would be in their prayers. I knew their flags would fly a little higher the next day.

Perhaps they would look for tangible ways to show their pride in our country and our troops, and maybe, just maybe, the two ladies sitting at that table next to me would pause for a minute to appreciate all the freedom this great country offers and what it costs to maintain.

As for me, I had learned that one voice can make a difference. Maybe the next time protesters gather outside the gates of the base where I live, I will proudly stand across the street with a sign of my own. A sign that says "Thank you!"

Lori Kimble is a 31 year old teacher and proud military wife. She is a California native currently living in Alabama
Current Mood: Patriotic

14th October 2003


A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert.

During some point of the journey, they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, he wrote in the sand:


They kept on walking, until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but his friend saved him. After he recovered rom the ear drowning, he carved on a stone:


The friend, who had slapped and saved his best friend, asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand, and now, you carve on a stone, why?"

The other friend replied: "When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand, where the winds of forgiveness can erase it away, but when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone, where no wind can ever erase it."

Current Mood: friendly :-)
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